Friday, April 29, 2005

Ralph Lauren - Polo Ralph Lauren: Polos: Custom-Fit Striped Polo

Custom-Fit Striped Polo Posted by Hello

This handsome polo is cut from our basic cotton mesh, which we knit with bold horizontal stripes for the season. An English placket reflects traditional styling, while a fully taped neck and shoulder seams ensure long wear. Classic design details include ribbed armbands and an uneven vented hem. An embroidered polo player accents the chest. Cotton. Machine washable. Imported.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

A flash of merriment

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home.'"

So I went over.

Nobody was home.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

RANT: Pizza delivery times!

I just don't get it.

Why do pizzas take such a long time to get delivered here in Australia? What mystical ingredients go into making such a mystical pizza that it requires a mystical oven to prepare it and then what mystical journey on what mystical vehicle must the mystical pizza embark on before finally reaching our hungry, dying, gasping lips?

2 hours. 2 hours! In that time, if I wanted to, I could have gone out to a restaurant and have a decent meal and come back already! What then is the point of ordering takeaway delivery?

Back in Singapore, the maximum delivery time for all the pizza restaurants, McDonald's and KFC was 30 minutes - and if the delivery takes longer than that, your order's free!

Watching fingernails grow can only keep you insanely occupied up to a certain extent.


Thursday, April 21, 2005

RAVE: McDonald's Apple Pie

Attention all fellow junk food junkies: I may have just found the one, the only, the Holy Grail, the SWEET MOTHER of all sweet junk foods - MCDONALD'S APPLE PIE.

What's that I hear? You asking me what this so-called pie can do for your junkiness? I'll tell you what this baby can do!

One. The pastry. Golden brown biscuit that bites off into a heavenly dream of crisp, crumbling chunks so tantalising you know that it could only have been achieved by a company that had 50, that's right the big FIVE-O, years of perfecting just that right balance of fat and oil to make one incredibly lustful pastry. Mm-mmm!

Two. The filling. Ah the good ol' pipin' hot stuff. Now lookie here Mary Jane this ain't no ordinary pipin' hot stuff - this is some real premium choice Appley Goodness™ we're talking 'bout here Missy. Lovingly grown and nurtured, tenderly plucked and skinned and cored, and then mechanically processed into bite-sized cascades of the finest orgasm by apple known to man. If this doesn't send thrills of delight up and down your tastebuds, you must be one limp, cold fish ma'am. Uhuh.

Three. The packaging. It's subconscious. It's subliminal. It's sexay. Witness the sensuous curves of the box. Observe the appealing and appeasing greens and yellows of the box that are such a delight unto the eyes and a feast for the senses. Could such Appley Goodness™ be showcased in any more opulent finery such as this? No sirreebob!

So there you have it folks - a slice of paradise available to you at your nearest McDonald's for only A$1.75. Is that a bargain, or is that a bargain. Now that's what I call simply to die for.

Note to self: Clinical studies have shown that, when exposed to boring lecture notes, copious amounts of homework, anxiety from impending examinations and gruel from the college dining hall, the typical poor and starving university student may experience bouts of mass hallucination and the general misperception that anything from fast food outlets may be constituted as rapture.


Monday, April 11, 2005

Waiting to Exhale (1995)

Whitney Houston - Exhale (Shoop Shoop)

Everyone falls in love sometime
Sometimes it's wrong, and sometimes it's right
For every win, someone must fail
But there comes a point when
When we exhale

Shoop shoop

Sometimes you'll laugh, sometimes you'll cry
Life never tells us, the when's or why's
When you've got friends, to wish you well
You'll find a point when
You will exhale

Shoop shoop

Oh hearts are often broken
When there're words unspoken
In your soul there's answers to your prayers
If you're searching for a place you know
A familiar face, somewhere to go
You should look inside yourself
You're halfway there

Sometimes you'll laugh, and sometimes you'll cry
Life never tells us, the when's or why's
But when you've got friends, to wish you well
You'll find your point when
You will exhale

Shoop shoop

Saturday, April 02, 2005


The Paramount Serviced Apartments

The Paramount Serviced Apartments, located at 181 Exhibition Street, is placed right in the centre of Melbourne's Central Business District.